create, sustain, close
A cyclical approach to New Year’s resolutions
EQUILIBRIA (left) and MOTHER/CHILD (right). Bernadette Cay 2018. Acrylic on linen. SFMOMA Artists Gallery. Photo by Stef Etow.
For me, January is a transitional time, the liminal space between closing one year and starting the next one. My New Year begins in February, in time for the Lunar New Year. As the snow dusts over the gray sky and brown bricks of Chicago, this post offers a fresh perspective–hopefully one of more patience and self-compassion. For that, let’s briefly visit the sun and heat of Bali.
A few years ago, pre-Covid, I had a chance to visit Bali. A small group of us visited the Lake Temple at Lake Batur. Dressed in borrowed lace kebayas, we sat in a row with our knees folded underneath us on the courtyard floor. At the end of the ceremony, someone from the temple tied a thin bracelet around my wrist.
The braid was made of three strings: one red, another black, and the other white. They signify: Brahma (the Creator), Vishnu (the Sustainer), and Shiva (the Destroyer). Together, they remind us of the three forces that cycle again and again throughout time: birth, life, and death.
A cyclical approach
Language around New Year’s resolutions can often hover around lack, scrutinizing what’s missing or wanting. We can forget that this time of year can be a chance to acknowledge all that we’ve put into tending to the life we have in front of us.
Like the braided bracelet, there are often multiple, overlapping cycles in our lives. In one area of our lives we may be Creating, in another area we may be Sustaining, and in another area we might be Closing a chapter. These loops also vary in duration of time–from several weeks to several years, maybe even spanning decades.
Each of these stages a) take time, resources, and energy, and b) are valid and necessary in different seasons of our lives. For example, sometimes circumstances require us to slow down to Sustain our health, or to Close a chapter. As the past two years have shown us, we can’t always control which stage we’re in.
A closer look
For each area of your life:
In what areas did you Create in the prior year? Sustain? Close?
As you look to the year ahead, how would you characterize the cyclical stage of your intentions? E.g. Sustain something you created, Close something and Create something new
Create
Many New Year’s resolutions are in this area: to create or start something new. These are also often more visible and tangible, a clear state change you can see for yourself and share with the outside world.
More expansively, Creation can also look many different ways, like starting a small but important daily habit that impacts your health over the long term.
Looking back and looking ahead:
Looking back: How might you acknowledge the effort it took to bring that change to life? What ingredients and steps did it take? What help did you receive from others?
Looking ahead: How might you budget the appropriate amount of time and effort? What does “enough” feel like? Where might you ask for help? How might your natural and healthy limits help you prioritize and set expectations?
Sustain
The words “maintain” and “sustain” come from the Latin word tenere, meaning “to hold.” As all of us know, whether it’s your health, a household, a new habit or interest, caregiving, your most important relationships, your job: it takes energy to sustain something.
In looking ahead to the New Year, maybe the most impactful thing to do is to Sustain what you Created in the previous year, building on all the work you’ve already done. Maybe instead of doing more or adding more, you increase the quality of attention to what you’re already doing.
Looking back and looking ahead:
What’s working? What did you start doing this year that you’d like to continue?
In the year ahead, what areas of your life do you need to Sustain? How might you budget time, resources, and attention for that?
Close
It takes energy to close a chapter. One of my first projects in tech was to sunset a product. I was amazed at the amount of effort and coordination it took, launching a product but in reverse.
Whether you’re closing a business, leaving a job, transitioning out of a relationship, or moving out of your place, how might you honor that transition?
Looking back and looking ahead:
How might you acknowledge all the work you’ve done to close a chapter?
If you’re planning to close a chapter: How might you allocate time, attention, and space to do so with grace?
How might closing this chapter inform what you’re doing next?
And the cycle begins again
Thanks again for walking with me on another year of this incredible journey. Wishing you a warm, safe, and restful holiday season, and best wishes in the New Year. To this season, and the next, and the next–
Always,
Bernadette